


Lust For Me

by Mother_of_Dragons



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Cannibalism?, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Lime?, not suitable for vegetarians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-04 19:26:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5345831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mother_of_Dragons/pseuds/Mother_of_Dragons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You wake up one morning with a body by your side, it's Nishiki. Awkwardness ensues over the next few weeks and something nobody would have expected occurs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

Waking up in a bed that’s not your own with little, if not no, recollection of last night's events is strange to say the least. The sunlight streaming through the partially opened windows hurts your eyes and you reach for more of the bedsheets so you can pull them over your head and fall back into a blissful slumber when your hand hits something hard and warm, a body.

You shoot up from the bed, scouring the room for your clothing hurriedly when you realise that you had just been in a bed, naked, with a man you didn’t know. You’re halfway through buttoning your blouse - bar your bra, which you can’t seem to find anywhere - when the situation you’d been dreading occurs, a voice behind you speaks up.

“What’s the rush?” the stranger asks, his voice a curious mix of amused and nonchalant. You finish buttoning your blouse with shaky hands and check that your skirts fly is zipped and that your shoes are laced (in case you need to make a quick escape) before you, slowly, turn around.

“Look, I don’t know what happened last night but-- _Nishiki?_ ”

Lying casually on the bed shirtless, with ruffled hair and his trademark glasses is Nishio Nishiki. You should have known by the cans of coffee acting as bookends and paperweights around his room. “I hope last night wasn’t _that_ forgettable” he says, smirking at you.

You wonder how long he’s been awake (although with what he’s been implying, there’s no doubt that he’s already seen you naked once) as you try to conjure up all you know about Nishiki. Nothing comes to mind - apart from the fact that he’s your senior by a few years and that whenever you see him, which is rare, he’s always drinking that precious canned coffee of his. As for how you got here, you vaguely remember your friend Casey convincing you to go to a party with her and then handing you a drink which she swore was just lemonade. _Must have been some pretty strong lemonade_ you think. After a few cups, you had simply grabbed the person nearest to you and had started making out with them. That part was still a blur but you could fill in the gaps, it must have been Nishiki.

You blush in embarrassment upon this realisation, knowing you would never have tried anything like that if you had been sober and are halfway through wondering why he didn’t just push you off when you, according to your memory, had tried to devour his lips when you spot the time on the digital clock by his bed. You’re late for work.

“As lovely as this has been, I have somewhere to be. I’ll see you around” “Or not” you add under your breath, rushing to make yourself look at least slightly presentable knowing you won’t be able to change, or even make it back home, before you have to get to work to avoid a sanction. Your blouse was a little on the sheer side but seeing as you had chosen to couple it with a short blazer, even if it did look a bit casual for your line of work, it would pass.

“Not if I don’t see you first” he replies, apparently he had heard you.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You see Nishiki again for the first time in a place you wouldn't expect.

The next time you see Nishiki, it comes as a complete surprise. You had come to Anteiku, a quaint cafe with possibly the best coffee in the whole of the 20th ward for the only substance you had been craving for the past few weeks - coffee. And of course to see a good friend of yours who worked there, Touka.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything with that Y/N? You usually at least have a snack” Touka asks, sliding your favourite order towards you - bar the usual cake or cookie - before leaning her elbows on the counter as she gives you her full attention. You shake your head, leaving out the fact that it’s not only what you've been craving lately but the only thing you seem to be able to stomach without immediately feeling the urge to throw up.

“You smell weird” She says randomly, making you splutter into your cup of coffee - pouring a good portion of it’s contents on yourself in the process. “Great, thanks for that” you say, sighing as the hot liquid seeps through your shirt and starts sticking to your skin - you curse silently under your breath. “No, I mean you smell different… familiar” she says, frowning slightly. She looks like she’s about to say something else on the subject but her eyes shift from yours and you know that someone’s calling her over to order. She gives you another once over, sniffing subtly before she adds “There’s a spare shirt in the room upstairs” and departs.

You go through the back door, up the stairs and into the meeting room. Sure enough there’s a blouse hanging from one of the lockers quite similar to your size, how convenient. You choose to change in here instead of in Touka’s room, just to save yourself the hassle of going through different rooms and you’re about to pull the blouse down fully over your torso when you hear something resembling a wolf whistle.

You immediately pull the blouse down, face flushing red with embarrassment as you open your mouth to scold them, incredulous at the fact that they had seen you dressing. The words die in your throat as you recognise who it is and all that comes out is a strangled “ _Nishiki?_ ”

He doesn't reply, instead he starts to approach. Thinking he’s walking towards you, you back up as quickly as you can. This only serves to make you feel even more embarrassed, and strangely disappointed, when he breezes straight past you, your shoulders brushing briefly as he does so before opening a locker behind you and taking out a phone, a smirk on his face.

“What are you doing here?” you ask, regaining your voice and shaking all feelings of disappointment out of your head - what was there to be disappointed about? All he did was walk past you. “Just admiring the view” he replies smoothly, eyes glancing up at you and holding your gaze momentarily before returning to his phone. “You work here?” you say. It’s more of a statement than a question really seeing as you’re certain - not only is he wearing the uniform but on the locker he’s standing in front of is the word Nishiki in an array of colourful magnets, probably the work of Hinami.

“Obviously” he replies, finally putting his phone away and slipping into his pocket instead. “I have a question for you actually” he says, leaning against the lockers to look at you. “Ask away” you reply, keeping eye contact.

He chuckles softly before he asks “Do you still not remember what happened that night? Need a little refresher course?”. By the time he’s finished speaking he’s got you backed up against a wall, either hand beside your head effectively stopping you from escaping, not that you would if you could. You’re on the verge of hyperventilating as you both gradually move in, when another voice (one you can distinctly identify as Touka) interrupts. “Yeah, the keyword here being ' _little'_. As in what she would use to describe your di--”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope Touka isn't as OOC as I think she is in this chapter. Anyway, why do you think she thinks that the Reader smells familiar? (✿◠‿◠)


	3. Chapter Three: Part One

Soon enough, it’s a not so typical Friday night and you're all dressed up in a bar, perched on a stool watching the door dejectedly.

You had just come back from a formal work party which explained the fancier than usual get up. But the location? That was a whole other story.

Knowing that you’d owed her a favour, something that you hadn’t even remembered until she’d brought it up, Touka had begged (more like hadn’t taken ‘No’ for an answer) over a series of texts for you meet her at a bar a supposed friend of a friend owned, Helter Skelter in the 14th ward. She was not only a no show but now that you were here, you could see that - if she were here - she probably wouldn’t have even been allowed inside in the first place.

You ‘tsk’ audibly in irritation as your eyes slide distractedly back to the watch on your wrist, watching the minutes tick by. You eventually make up your mind to leave, partially because you don’t want to waste any more of your time here and partially because the hungry looks being directed your way by the male and female patrons alike are starting to creep you out when you’re approached by a woman behind the bar you’ve been sitting at for the last half hour.

“Would you like to order?” She asks, smiling at you as her nails click rhythmically against the counter. You think for a few moments before you eventually decide to stay, at least for one drink. What harm could one drink do? You had nowhere to be the next day except from in between your nice, warm sheets catching up on your favourite TV series. “Surprise me!” you say finally. Her smile grows.

*

 

“We really need to stop meeting like this” You comment, inclining your head slightly in the direction of the man who had just sat next to you. Not surprisingly, it’s Nishiki.

You’d known it was him before he had even sat down, not only had you seen him walk up to you in your periphery as you gazed at the door but you had also, mysteriously, been seeing him around a lot more recently. This was strange for more than one reason, the predominant one being the weird knots and tension that seemed to engulf you whenever you were around him.

“I completely disagree” his reply comes just as your drink arrives in front of you, pulling you out of your reverie. It’s red and thick in consistency in a spotless wine glass. You slosh the liquid around in the glass tentatively at first before finally gaining the courage to take a sip, hoping you won’t hate it. Firstly, you tip it towards Nishiki, whose eyes are trained on you, in mock salute before you bring it towards your lips - downing it all quickly like a shot.

The taste shocks you, you had been expecting a slow burn as it trickled down your throat before melting into false warmth as it hit your chest like typical alcohol (especially since you’ve lately still been, barely, surviving on coffee). But this? This was unlike anything you’d ever tasted before - it was magnificent! To put it in the simplest of terms, it made you feel _alive_.

“Excuse me, what type of wine is this?” You ask the woman behind the bar, who you believe is the aforementioned owner of the bar - her hair is peach and streams down her back. “Oh, just something I threw together. Old family recipe” she says, tapping her nose and winking secretively. “Well, it’s amazing. Can I get another?” you ask. She seems mildly surprised by your request but nonetheless makes another and slides it across to you - “A more mature sample” she adds. This one is distinctly more red than the previous and tastes slightly more metallic, but it just makes it all the better.

Nishiki eyes the glass in your hand dubiously. Noticing this, you turn to face him, gaining courage from the strange yet delicious red liquid. “What? Think a girl can’t handle her wine?” you ask, slurring ever so slightly. He opens his mouth to reply and you can see his lips moving - his lovely, _luscious_ looking lips - but you hear no noise. Suddenly, the music is too loud and your vision is tinted red and you feel _hungry_.

He’s still talking although you can’t hear him over the din of the music and you can’t think of any other way to silence him apart from kissing him, so that’s what you do. It takes him completely by surprise at first but then he reacts by placing his hands on your hips and pulling you closer. When you finally pull away, you swear his eyes have gone a dark black and his irises red but it must just be the strobe lighting. “Let’s take this somewhere else” you say, voice husky.

You leave payment for the drinks you ordered on the bar, not forgetting to finish off the last dregs, before leading him through the crowd of gyrating bodies into the cool air outside and down a side street.

This time _he_ kisses you. In the heat of the moment you’re pushed against the wall behind you. You can feel his attraction for you through his now taunt jeans since his knee is between your legs, separating them and rubbing slowly against your sex. You let out an involuntary moan as his tongue explores your mouth, dominating over your own. Slowly but surely, Nishiki’s passionate kisses move from your mouth to your neck and collarbone. First, he starts with small, soft kisses along your neck, barely touching the skin. The pressure gradually increases as he moves towards your collarbone, most definitely leaving behind visible bruises. He bites too hard once or twice, drawing blood and laps it up with his tongue, breathing heavily as he does so - It’s intoxicating. “Maybe… Maybe we should take this someplace a little more private?” you suggest between moans of pleasure, your voice of reason finally making its appearance.

Somehow, without you noticing, it had gotten extremely dark and with it being the 14th ward you don’t want to risk your life becoming ghoul meat tonight, or ever for that matter. Noticing your hesitance, Nishiki reluctantly pulls away. “You still want to do this?” he asks unsurely. You nod your head adamantly, giving him a kiss as proof “Of course, just not here”. He nods silently, adjusting his glasses before throwing his arm around your waist protectively. The moment only being ‘ruined’ when his hand drops to your arse, squeezing quickly.

 

*

 

By the time you arrive at his apartment, you’re both aching for some form of release. It’s only when you’ve sunken into Nishiki’s soft sheets, naked as the day you were born, that realisation of the situation you're in sets in. This is the second time in a month you’ve been to his apartment, both times resulting in sex. “I think I’ve spotted a pattern” you say aloud, positioning yourself above the bedsheets. “Yeah? And what’s that?” Nishiki asks, hovering above you. He’s bigger than you expected. “Every time I come here, we end up having sex. Your bed must have magical properties” you say, tapping your chin to make it look like you’re in deep thought. “Really? Nothing to do with how hot you think I am?” he asks, playing along although you can easily tell that he’s getting impatient by the way he’s licking his lips as he looks you up and down. “Nothing at-- ah~”

  
Then he’s back to kissing your neck, gradually moving downwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, things are getting heated! What do you think that *mysterious* liquid was? (≧ω≦)


	4. Chapter Three: Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after and angst ensues.

When you wake up the next morning, Nishiki is gone. It’s the first thing you notice - the lack of lean arms wrapped around your waist, providing heat. You sigh in annoyance, running a hand through your hair as you try not to think about where this leaves you two.

The next thing you notice is your hunger.

You’d had times like this before where you’d been hit with hunger pangs, leaving you feeling slightly light headed, but this time it was absolutely insatiable. You heave yourself up from the bed, dressed only in one of Nishiki’s shirts which almost dwarfs you in comparison as you walk in what you believe to be the kitchen, hand on your stomach as if to quell its rumblings.

You fully expect to find nothing to your taste as you approach the fridge if the past few weeks are anything to go by, you would be throwing up even your favourite meals before they were fully digested. Instead, you find two things: a note stuck to the fridge’s chrome door and a heavenly scent.

In your excitement, you merely skim the note (something about Nishiki heading out) before you rip open the fridge door, almost tearing it off its hinges in the process. The smell alone seems to be filling you up, but your rumbling stomach reminds you that alone won’t suffice. On a platter in the very back of the fridge is an array of succulent looking meats varying in size. Although not an ideal breakfast meal, it seems to be the only thing that hasn’t made you want to retch at just the sight of it and the saying does go beggars can’t be choosers. You dig in.

By the time you’re finished, it’s like looking at the world through new eyes. It’s been so long since you’ve had anything proper to eat, let alone been full, and it almost feels like your stomach has grown twice in size.

A familiar text alert rings out, interrupting the silence and drawing your attention. You get up from your seat at the small kitchen table, putting away the plate in the sink quickly as you try to locate your phone before from where you last heard the alert. You eventually find it in your purse under a pile of miscellaneous clothing from last night and unlock your phone to see two texts from Touka.

‘You need to come to Anteiku x’

‘It’s important x’

 

*

 Not wanting to risk Touka seeing you in Nishiki’s clothing, or the dress from the night before, you’d had to make a quick detour home to get a new change of clothes so you could avoid a possible berating about your life choices for the rest of the day. You swear that girl can pick up on practically anything.

Your brow furrows as you arrive at Anteiku, immediately spotting the lack of lights on on the lower level and the flipped door sign now reading ‘Closed’. You look around to see if there’s anything you might have missed to clue you in on what’s going on and are about to check your messages for the same reason when a particularly cold and relatively strong wind blows by.

Pulling the scarf around your neck tighter, you rub your arms together slowly - only looking up when the repeated sound of a bang startles you. It’s the sound of the door opening and closing harshly against the door frame because of the wind. You push the door tentatively and it doesn’t protest, opening fully.

Now you’re concerned, not only is Anteiku shut before rush hour when all the workers come out to buy something for lunch but the door is unlocked. “Hello?” you call out, letting the door shut behind you. No-one replies.

The first thing you spot as your eyes scan the room is a broken cup on the floor by the counter, coffee pooling around the shards. Everything else seems to be in its correct place though.

You think you hear a noise coming from the upper level and you pull out your phone, typing in the number of the local police force just in case anyone is in real danger as you slowly creep up the stairs, making sure not to step on any of the known creaky steps so you don’t alert any potential attackers of your presence.

You make it to the meeting room without any encounters and you can now clearly see a light coming from underneath the door. Gathering all your courage, you pull open the door to see… Touka, Nishiki, the Manager and Yomo spread out across the room, sitting silently.

All heads but one turn to the doorway when it opens and you let out a sigh of relief, practically sweatdropping as you bow to pay your respects to all the people in the room. “You guys scared me, why’s the cafe shut so early?” you ask, curious as to why they were all in the room.

No reply comes.

“Is something going on? Do you need me to call the police?” you whisper, your guard up again in case there’s potential threat that hasn't been eliminated.

 “Ify, I think you might need to sit down” Touka says, her voice laced with something you can't quite place - sincerity, sadness?

 “I think I can take it” you say, eyebrow raised but tense shoulders lowered now that you know noone is in any immediate danger.

 “This is seri-” Touka starts. You can guess what she’s going to say but what comes next is a complete surprise. “You're pregnant” Yomo interjects, his eyes piercing yours.

 

You blink slowly, taking a few seconds to catch on. “Oh, I get it. This is a prank, right? Well, worst prank ever. It’s not even April” you proclaim, not buying it for a second. “Next you’ll be telling me that you’re all ghouls” you say jokingly, wondering why they really asked you here. The silence that envelops the room is, for lack of a better word, pregnant and uncomfortable - especially because everyone in the room seems to know about you and Nishiki, it would have made no difference if you had turned up in his clothing. In fact by now the whole of the 20th ward probably knows.

 

“This is serious Y/N. Although taboo, the partnership between a human and ghoul is not the problem here. However, a human becoming pregnant from a human and ghoul relationship is a completely different matter” The manager says, speaking up for the first time. You’re surprised that he’s joining in on the prank and it’s only out your utmost respect for the elder that you stay silent. Well, at least until he’s finished talking.

 “Sorry Manager but there’s no way that you could be ghouls. I’ve known you all too long, seen you eat normal food. Anyway, Nishiki would have told--”

 “Do you believe us _NOW?!_ ” Nishiki shouts unexpectedly, standing up so suddenly that he knocks his chair backwards. His gaze shifts from the window and locks unto yours. You can’t help but let out a horrified gasp, unable to look away as you stumble backwards. The whites of his eyes have turned black and his irises a glowing red, just like what you had believed to be the effects of alcohol and strobe lighting last night.

He bears his teeth in apparent anger and the veins around his eyes bulge. As if that wasn’t enough to terrify you, something blue resembling a tail erupts from his lower back, wrapping around his left leg.

You no longer feel safe around the people you once considered as family. If they were telling the truth about being ghouls then they must also have been right about you being…

You couldn’t think about that right now. The only thing important was getting away. So that’s what you did.

You were already gone before you could see Nishiki retract his kagune and kakugan, regret written all over his face as he watched you run out of his life, possibly forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guess the reader was pregnant before this chapter? I think it was subtle but still kind of obvious in its own way.
> 
> Please don't forget to leave comments and Kudos if you like the story - and if you dont, tell me what I can do better 
> 
> ｡◕ ‿ ◕｡


	5. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Mentions of miscarriage.

“I won’t tell the CCG about you, if that’s what you’re worried about” you say offhandedly, surprising Nishiki out of his hiding place. “Y/N, I--” “I’m keeping the baby” you interrupt, motioning slightly towards your still small but noticeably growing stomach. 

Your appearance had also noticeably changed since you last had seen Nishiki, or anyone at Anteiku for that matter. You had begun to lose weight - that coupled with your now just visible bump making you quite a sight to behold. Out of concern for not only yours but your baby’s health, you had booked a consultation with your doctor to ask what this could possibly mean but had simply been brushed off with the diagnosis that you were probably under a lot of stress and were anxious of the arrival of a new baby. She had even given you some supplements to take until your weight and diet balanced back out to ensure that both you and the baby were getting the nutrients that you would both need, although she didn’t advise depending solely on them. They didn’t seem to be working.

Truthfully, you _were_ under a lot of stress. To the point where you had even considered quitting your job, or at least going on early leave. That thought had been immediately dismissed from your mind though when you realised that it was your only source of income.

Ignoring all the friends that you had once held dear to you was hard work too, especially because you knew that with them being ghouls, they would know the most about ghoul babies or at least knew of someone who did. Although, from what the manager had told you, they were probably just as inexperienced in this field as you were. 

You had gotten so lost in your train of thought that you had come to a complete standstill in the middle of the aisle, cart completely forgotten.

Nishiki, who had watching you with a mix of both interest and concern, looks instead to the contents of your cart. It consists mostly of coffee beans, pills (mostly headache tablets) and… baby things. “I just realised something” he remarks aloud. His voice draws your slightly glossy gaze to him and do a double take at your surroundings, starting to push the cart again.

You don’t reply but he continues nonetheless “I never apologised for my behaviour the last time we saw eachother. I was completely out of line, something about the situation just reminded me of…” he trails off slowly, his voice barely above a whisper. “Anyway, you can’t survive on just coffee alone, if you come to Anteiku we can provide everything you’ll need” he continues, voice back to normal. 

“That sounds rehearsed” you comment absently. He chuckles deeply beside you. 

You wonder how the news of you being pregnant has affected him. You were sure that if he had continued he would have started talking about his late sister, who you had only heard about through rumours from Touka.

You spare a glance at him whilst you pretend to examine a shelf of cutlery that you know you don’t need. He doesn’t look much different from when you last saw him, same posture, same hairstyle. The only thing that seems slightly different are the dark circles underneath his eyes that you both seem to be sporting. Oddly, the thought of him losing as much sleep over this as you gives you some sort of satisfaction.

You finally abandon the contents of the shelf and push your cart to the self checkout, not wanting to deal with any more human (?) interaction. Nishiki follows.

It’s not until you’ve made your purchase that he speaks again. “We have a ghoul doctor you can speak to” he says casually, hands in his pockets as he watches you. The bag in your hand slackens at this but your hold is enough that it doesn't drop. “What are you, Anteiku’s new _representative?_ ” you spit out, something resembling a snarl on your face. But there’s no venom in your voice. 

He doesn’t reply and instead walks ahead, knowing that you’ll follow.

As you follow him down a sidestreet, you swear you spot the smirk back on his face.

 

*

You follow him deeper into the heart of the city, down several more alleys and sidestreets until he stops at in front of a building you don’t recognise.

It’s a non-descript, plain white building with nothing to hint at it being a hospital or General Practice of any sort and you look upon it sceptically as you follow Nishiki inside.

“Welcome to the number 1 Ghoul Hospital in all of the 20th ward! Do you have an appointment?” A cheery receptionist says as you both enter.

Her attitude immediately changes however when she spots you and in the blink of an eye, her kakugan (a term you had picked up from one of your younger colleagues at work) activates and her smile turns into a grimace.

She stands up quickly, knuckles white from where she’s gripping the desk and eyes trained on you. Nishiki gently pushes you behind him and takes a protective stance but there’s no need, a doctor (from what you can tell from the stethoscope around his neck and label on his white coat) emerges from a room behind the desk and restrains her before she can do anything, effectively calming her down.

It’s not until her kakugan retracts and she disappears into the back room to take a break that you feel remotely safe. Truthfully, ever since you had discovered the not-so-human nature of the majority of your friends, you hadn’t been feeling safe. In fact, you often wonder, had you not fallen pregnant, whether you would have really been able cut them loose like your conscience advised.

“I apologise on her behalf and mine also, she’s had a very hard time in the past with humans”

the doctor offers as explanation. “Haven’t we all?” Nishiki replies offhandedly, eyes on the door the receptionist went through. The doctor only hums in acknowledgement and instead turns to you. “And what seems to be the problem?” he asks, smiling kindly at you.

“I’m pregnant” you speak up, cheeks flushed with embarrassment and ears still ringing from Nishiki’s comment, feeling severely out of place. “Well, that is a problem indeed. Follow me” he replies as he leads you through the building and into another room. Nishiki stays at the reception.

You let out a breath you didn’t know were holding in when you enter, relieved to see the room almost exactly resembles that of your doctor. In fact, it seems to be possibly connected to some sort of maternity ward with an ultrasound machine and medical gurney, a BMI weight machine, a computer and other medical devices you don’t recognise. You sit down on one of the chairs facing his desk, aware of the empty seat beside you as he types away at the computer, eyes running across the screen as he reads the monitor before he gives you his full attention.

“Miss L/N, ghouls and humans are traditionally incompatible as I’m sure you’re heard before. So when a very rare situation like this occurs, some… _complications_ could arise” “Take for instance your recent loss of weight. Although just a small change from your last medical checkup a month ago--” 

“You have my medical records?” you ask, surprised that he knows your name even though you have no recollection of giving it to him. “Of course, Mr Nishio called in this morning to let me know you were coming, without them I can’t complete an accurate assessment of your health. As I was saying, your weight loss coupled with feeling constantly tired and, I assume, lack of energy could be clear signs of malnutrition”

“There’s no easy way to say this Miss L/N, but there’s a high chance that your baby won’t survive. It’s an undisputed fact that this baby will be more ghoul than human. You may have felt that your taste for food has completely changed?”

It takes you a few seconds to realise that he’s asking you a direct question and you blink slowly at him in response, feeling like all the air in your lungs has been vacuumed out and you're a fish out of water - instead you nod slowly. “Do you want me to go on?” he asks, voice sincere.

“Yes, I want to know what I can do to avoid the death of my baby” your own voice surprises you and the words feel almost foreign being formed upon your tongue but you don’t deny the statement as you await his response. “Well, with you being a human, you can’t naturally provide the correct nutrients for it like a ghoul mother would. Therefore, it’s forcefully taking them from you, causing your symptoms of malnutrition” “Although your consumption of coffee has helped to an extent, there is no chance that either you or your baby can continue on just that. You’ll need to follow my strict guidelines on what to eat. I regret to inform you that even that might not work - it’s simply the best option”

  
“I’ll do anything” you reply, voice no longer shaky and hands fisted and crossed over your stomach as an unconscious act of protection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, this chapter has been long overdue don't you agree? There should only be 1 or 2 chapters left before the end, although don't take my word for it, I also changed my AO3 username recently so if you're wondering who this new girl is updating with newer chapters: surprise, it's still me (◕‿◕✿)


	6. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say how ashamed I am of myself because I don't regularly update. Just the other day I was reading an X Reader on this site with 23 out of 25 chapters completed and the author updated either everyday or every other day,  
> (　ﾟ,_ゝﾟ,). I'll get better.

After your consultation with the ghoul doctor, you had reverted back to being a relative hermit, only venturing outside of your home to either meet with the doctor or go to Anteiku to pick up your ‘packages’. Eventually, even that got too much for you and you had to have them delivered. 

You sit staring at the latest package now, wrapped neatly like a birthday present. Against your better judgement, you push the parcel across the table amongst the others and lean back into your chair. You had been following the doctors’ dieting instructions to a ‘T’ ever since that first consultation but had found a semi-loophole: only eating the minimal amount required. Although essential to both yours and your baby’s survival, the thought of consuming a recently dead human (who’d had thoughts and dreams and functions just like you) still disgusted you - hence the building pile of similarly wrapped ‘leftovers’ forming on your kitchen table.

Honestly, it had been a while since you had even left the confines of your home to do anything other than visit the doctor - so it had been no surprise when you had received a letter ‘regrettably informing you of the loss of your job’ with your final paycheck attached. You rub your belly absently at the thought and frown - you had liked your job but compared to your current situation, it didn't even measure up. Although, your lack of a job did bring up new problems - like how you were going to support this baby when it eventually came. Realistically, it was unlikely that a pregnant woman with your skillset would be able to secure a job with the prospect of having to take maternity leave so soon after starting and honestly, you weren’t sure you’d be able to maintain another hands on job quite yet.  But you needed a job.

You're deep in thought when an idea suddenly springs to mind. Everytime, without fail, whenever Yomo came to deliver your package, he would offer you a job at Antekiu on behalf of the manager which you politely declined eachtime. Anteiku seemed like it already had more than enough employees and you suspected that this was just another way for them to keep their eyes on you but it was your best (and only) option.

With newfound determination, you get up from the table, packages forgotten as you amble towards your front door. You’re halfway through putting on your coat as you pull open the door and a blast of cold air hits you in the face, but that’s not what surprises you. Standing right in front of you with his arm outstretched as if to ring your doorbell is none other than Yomo Renji.  “I’ll take the job at Anteiku” you say without missing a beat, not even questioning why he’s here. “Let’s go” he says, expression remaining stoic although, you had expected nothing less from him. You’re ready to follow after him when you spot yourself in the reflection of the mirror beside your coat rack.

“I can’t go out looking like this, I need to freshen up!” you exclaim as you rush back into the house, heading off in the direction of your bedroom. “You look fine” he replies, voice carrying through the house as he follows you in regardless. You’d already had a shower and brushed your teeth, as was your daily routine, but there was a big difference between get ready to go out and preparing to stay inside. Your hair is painfully knotted and picky and your face looks pale from lack of sunlight. You quickly clean your face with some wet wipes and brush your hair, irregardless of the pain, until you at least look mildly presentable and apply a mix of light concealer and moisturiser. You also decide to change from your sweatpants into some jeans and a floral blouse.

When you finally emerge from your room, Yomo is standing in the middle of the living room and his gaze pointedly shifts from the packages on the table back to you.“Let’s  _ go _ ” you say, ignoring his gaze as you head back towards the door. By the sound of his footsteps, you can tell that he’s following.

 

*

 

As usual for this time of day, Anteiku is practically packed when you arrive. Everywhere you look, a familiar face (excluding one) is attending to a customer. Out of the corner of your eye you spot a head of almost iridescent purple hair working behind the bar and momentarily forget why you’re here, instead rushing towards her. “Touka?” you say, face stretching into a brilliant smile.

Looking up from her work, Touka’s eyes first drift from Yomo to you and she falters, glancing away momentarily before going back to cleaning the counter - this time more vigorously. “Nishiki isn’t working today” she says casually, voice brash. Although she doesn’t look up address you directly, it’s obvious that the comment is meant for you. You blink several times in surprise and stay silent, unsure of what to say as the smile slowly slips off of your face.

“What are you still doing here? Didn't you hear me the first time? Nishiki isn’t here and  _ he’s _ your only interest nowadays, right?!” she says, her raised voice gaining more than a few patrons’ attention. She briefly glances at your stomach before her attention shifts to anything but you and you catch a glimpse of what seem to be tears in her eyes. It’s this reason alone that you don’t ‘lash out’. You had accepted defeat and come to the conclusion that you  _ did  _ need help raising this baby and for what, a stony reception - from one of your closest friends nonetheless?

“I need to speak to the manager” you say, hands clenched. “Well, I know where you can go--” “Touka, that’s enough. I believe you’re here to see me Y/N?” the manager asks, appearing behind Touka from the stairway. You nod slowly and follow after him to an available table, turning briefly to look back at Touka. She looks away when she sees you looking and instead starts talking to Yomo (more like talking at Yomo) who’s stayed behind.

“Why did you want to talk to me Y/N?” Yoshimura says, drawing your attention back to him. “I want to apply for a job here” you say. You barely have time to straighten up and get into interview mode when he says: “You’re hired” “You can fill in for those who have school or extracurricular activities, can you start tomorrow?”

You nod your head silently, mind whirling at how simple that had been. “Of course, on the matter of security, you're under our protection here, no one can touch you without consequence and the scent of the baby should mask the fact that you're a human, to an extent. If you ever feel like that you or any other customer, human or otherwise, is in danger, contact another member of staff immediately"

“Of course” you reply, tone deadly serious. Afterall, Anteiku  _ was _ a safe-haven for ghouls and humans alike - how many other places in  Tokyo , heck even the world could uphold that claim? None that you knew of. “Glad to see you’re so enthusiastic about the job. I’ll see you tomorrow” Yoshimura says, giving you his signature closed eye smile. “By the way, I suggest resolving whatever issues you and Touka seem to be having, but go easy on her okay? She’s had a tough couple of weeks” he says as he stands, back to you before departing.

“I might just take your advice” you mumble absently to no-one in particular as you watch Touka disappear into the back room to retrieve something. You follow her in.

When she spots you, her face immediately sets into a hard grimace, almost resembling a scowl. She tries to push past you but you manage to hold her back long enough to ask “What’s your problem?”

This stops her completely and once she’s shaken free from your grasp, she turns to face you. “What’s  _ my _ problem?! Maybe you should flip that question around! Where have you been the last few weeks when I needed you? I was there for  _ you  _ and  _ you _ pushed me aside like an unwanted rag-doll! I had three major exams this week alone but did you know or care? No. I thought we were friends, but now I can clearly see that we’re nowhere near” she shouts, veins bulging. “Of course I care, you’re my best friend” you say calmly, placing your hand atop hers. She rips her hand away as if you had poured hot water on it and glares at you.

You sigh slightly and place the offending hand instead on your stomach, which Touka takes great notice of. “Look, I realise now that it was selfish of me to cut off all ties with everyone and put all my attention into this baby and honestly, I haven’t just been neglecting you”

“Quelle surprise” she says, rolling her eyes sarcastically. “I lost my job, that’s why I came to see the manager, so that I could start working here - we’ll see eachother all the time!” you say, trying to comfort her. “So the money had nothing to do with it?” she snarks. “I won’t deny that it played a role in my decision Touka but I really, truly wanted to see you and catch up” you reply, voice laced with true empathy.

“Don’t talk down to me Y/N. Congratulations by the way, you tricked me into believing you would always be there, no matter what, but now I see you for what you really are, a typical human who’s only interest is herself” Touka practically spits as she brushes past a stunned you.

She pauses momentarily at the door but doesn't turn back as she makes the simple statement “I don’t doubt you got the job though so I, unfortunately, can’t avoid you forever. Just make sure you don’t get in my way” and leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bruh, I know this is supposed to be a Nishiki x Reader but honestly, I think I'm straying from the path. This is what happens when you just have a vague amount of plot when you start writing a story - He's not even in this chapter apart from a subtle mention (I wonder if anyone can find it). Touka seems to picking up some French from Tsukiyama though.


	7. Chapter Six

Since you had began working at Anteiku, you had only seen Nishiki roughly a handful of times, with each encounter ending up shorter than the last.

It wasn't intentional, at least you didn't  _ think _ it was, it was just that on your cover shift, every time you clocked in for work it seemed like it was his time to leave. Truly, you more than wanted to sit him down and have an intense ‘adult to adult’ talk about this baby and what was going to change when it was eventually born, you couldn't really spring that on him in the few minutes you saw each other before one of you had to leave.

It wasn't exactly smalltalk material.

Speaking of the baby, it didn’t look like it would be too long before they were going to be born now, it had even gotten to the point where you could fully balance a tray on your stomach which was actually proving to be relatively helpful. Apart from your awkward encounters with Nishiki and occasional exchanged greetings with the manager and Renji, you had mostly kept to yourself. Although it did feel great to finally be back at work and doing something with your time (despite the fact that your work schedule did tend to be irregular), that ‘talk’ you’d had with Touka always stayed in the back of your mind.

“Goodnight manager” you say politely as you bow (well, as much as you can), he replies with a closed eye smile and a wave as you exit the cafe and lock up, wrapping the scarf tighter around your neck to combat the cold as you make your way home. Nowadays you often stayed late to avoid having to go home to an empty house. Funny, it hadn’t bothered you before.

 

*

When you arrive, you head straight for your kitchen to have some coffee and prepare your dinner. Like Nishiki, you had taken to buying ‘Blondy’ canned coffee which actually wasn’t that bad, although it didn’t measure up to the type of coffee they served at Anteiku. Switching on the stove, you pour some oil into a frying pan and lightly saut é some ‘meat’. Really, it was more of a waste of time than anything but it made you feel better about eating (you could almost pretend that it was just a beef) and added some more taste, that was  _ always _ a plus.  

One you gathered that it was cooked enough, you pile the meat onto a plate and grab your favourite flavour canned Blondy coffee and a fork as you prepare to settle in front of your TV and revert to a practically vegetative state for the rest of the night.

You’re picking absently at your already empty plate in anticipation as the drama you’re watching begins to get intense and  _ just _ as it reaches its climax, your doorbell rings.

Your left eye begins to twitch slightly at the interruption and you consider leaving whoever it is waiting at the door for slightly longer, but their constant pressing of your bell soon has you up and walking towards the door.

Now that you worked at Anteiku, you had no reason for Yomo to deliver your packages since you could just pick them up directly after your shift, but that didn’t stop him from making the trip. Occasionally, he would stop by to check up on you in his own unique way and you didn’t doubt that it was him now as you tended not to get that many visitors. This is why it comes as a complete surprise when you open the door to see your mother standing there with what seems to be more of a suitcase than an overnight bag.

“Mum?” you ask sceptically as you struggle to take in the sight before you. “Who else would it be?” she replies sternly, eyes trained solely on your swollen stomach. You visibly gulp when you realise that you hadn’t told your mother that you’re pregnant. Maybe Touka had been right about you being self absorbed after all. You’re so distracted by your own thoughts that you don’t even notice that she’s talking again until she walks past you.

“How would you feel if you had to find out from someone else that your daughter is heavily pregnant?” she asks suddenly, as she looks around your home.”Not good?” your answer coming out as more of a query as you shut the open door. “Are you planning on staying?” you ask as politely as you can, motioning to her bag as you do. “No actually, I’ll be staying in a hotel nearby. These are for you, baby clothes and whatnot” she replies as she takes a seat at your dining table, one look from her and you quickly do the same, choosing to sit directly in front of her.

“I hope you’ve been taking care of yourself. After all, a baby is a big responsibility to look after” she says suddenly, taking your hands in hers. “You’re not mad?” you ask, your tone of voice resembling that of a hesitant child. “There’s nothing I can do about it now and frankly, I’ve always wanted a grandchild” she replies, smiling at you as she gives your hands what you assume to be a comforting squeeze.

“Come see what I brought, there’s even some stuff from when you were a kid”

You can't help but watch on in awe as your mother's face practically lights up as she describes in detail a memory attached to every article of impossibly small clothing from your childhood.

Amongst the clothes and memorabilia, she’d even managed to acquire things that you hadn’t yet even thought of like an electric baby bottle warmer and a baby carrier. 

You go from smiling to being reduced to tears within a matter of seconds at the prospect that you're even just the slightest bit unprepared for your own baby's arrival and try as you might to wipe away the tears as discreetly as possible, chalking them down to your hyperactive hormones, it’s only a matter of seconds before your mother notices and hurries over to you.

“What’s wrong Y/N, is it the baby?!” she says, rushing over to you. 

Free to let your tears fall now without fear of discoverance, your slight tears transform into a waterfall and it's a few more moments before your voice is steady enough to utter out a reply.

“God knows that after all I’ve been through with this baby I wouldn’t give them up for  _ anything _ but… I just never imagined to be having a baby at this age. It wasn’t part of the big plan and honestly? I’m not sure if I’m fully ready” you finally manage to say, wiping away the remainder of your tears on your shirt sleeves. 

Now that you had time to think about it, it didn’t seem like you and Nishiki would be getting ‘back together’ in the forseeable future, let alone in time for the arrival of the baby. If he chose to have no involvement in the bringing up of the baby, which could only be assumed by his outburst at Anteiku and his seemingly nonchalant nature whenever the subject was brought up, you’d have practically no support in the raising of the baby. Not to mention the countless baby things you still had no knowledge on like medical records and potty training. Thankfully you now had an experienced mother on-hand and an accumulating pile of borrowed parenting books from good friends who’d already had babies (one of which you could proudly say you was your goddaughter).

Despite this, the thought of having a baby still scared you. Whenever you’d thought of babies as a kid, you’d always imagined (and had it drilled into you by your parents) a matching husband and house to go with it.

 

_ Marriage _ …

 

If dating shows had taught you anything, you knew it would be twice as hard to find ‘the one’ now  _ but _ maybe that was a good thing, you didn't know if you believed in all that soulmate crap anyway. Just one person created as a perfect match 

for someone else, regardless of the world's constantly growing population? Who knew whether they were even in the same continent, let alone spoke the same language.

 

“Y/N?”

 

Your mum's voice forcefully drags you out of your train of thought and one glance at her concerned face has you immediately feeling guilty for making her worry. “Mum, it’s fine. It was just a moment of weakness, I’m okay now” you say to calm her nerves.

 

“Moment of weakness? Bullshit, it must have come from somewhere” she says. Your eyes visibly widen at her unusual language but before you can say anything, she continues. 

“Now, do you want to let me know what this is all about?” 

You consider telling her the whole story, you really do, but you quickly decide against it. You had no idea how she would react and although she had never expressed any particular hate towards Ghouls, something you had found hard to understand growing up, being tolerant and understanding is always easier when you're on the outside looking in than when it’s your own family that is involved.

“I… I, lost my job and although I’ve got a new one now. It’s an irregular schedule and an average wage at a coffee shop, that’s why I started tearing up when you brought all that stuff out. By my own means, it would have taken me a while to earn enough money to get that stuff and the thought of not providing the highest quality of things for my child from the offset just made me kind of feel like I’d already let them down, you know? Even if they won't be old enough to realise, I want to do my absolute best to raise this child” You finally let out, not entirely untrue but not the whole truth either.

When you look up, your Mum is wiping away a few tears of her own and you feel another pang of guilt for not telling her the whole truth but she seems more than satisfied with your answer so,  _ for now _ , it would have to do.

“I can help with that” she says when she's done, reaching back into the depths of the bag and pulling out a white envelope. You can tell what it is before she even opens it and are already denying her charity as she’s already done so much for you but she pushes the envelope into your arms, an interesting propistion on her lips.

“Take the money. Trust me, you’ll need it more than I do and it's going to a good cause”

“I can’t poss--” “If you take the money, I won't ask you any questions about the father”

That stops you in your tracks and before you even know what your doing you’ve accepted the offer.

“Always so private. Okay, so no more about that - I want to know if my grandchild is going to be a girl or a boy” She says, face lighting up once again.

“I don't know myself, I never even thought about asking” you reply truthfully, thinking about how you’d been too concerned with  _ other things _ to worry about gender.

She gives you a fake appalled look and you two spend the rest of the night discussing baby names, amongst several other things, until it’s so late into the night that you almost feel like you're going to drop from lack of sleep and you both retire to bed, you to your room and her back to the hotel with promises of future meet ups.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Yay! Finally an update!
> 
> 2) The next chapter is probably going to be a bit dramatic, should I add some more drama: maybe a second love interest for Y/N?
> 
> 3) Is discoverance even a word?
> 
> 4) I feel like my quality of writing for this is going down so there might be a re:visit (get it?) later on where I'll edit a few chapters.
> 
> ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ


	8. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long(ish) chapter but... it's been like 8 months

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW*: Graphic(ish) descriptions of birth?

Strangely enough, now that the due date - more of an estimate than anything - was steadily approaching and you’d been given leave from Anteiku, you just couldn't stand to be alone inside; even if it just meant going to the park across the street from your apartment for a few hours a day.

This explained why you were currently at your friend Sakae’s house, babysitting your goddaughter as she played with her toys in the Magical Girl dress and tiara set you’d bought her as a gift.

Initially, you had been meant to go out with her mother, a close friend of yours from childhood, to catch up over dinner but you’d had to decline her offer as politely as possible, seriously doubting that any restaurant that she’d had in mind would have let you bring your own tupperware container filled with ‘meat’.

Instead, you had suggested taking Emiko (named after the gummy smile she’d shown when held for the first time by her father) off of her hands for a few hours so Sakae and her husband could have a romantic date without having to worry about their exuberant child, managing finally to persuade her with the added bonus that babysitting your goddaughter would not only strengthen your relationship but also give you some much needed experience to stash away for future use.

Deep down, you knew that you were hoping that some of her luck would rub off on you. In your eyes, the family dynamic that Sakae, her husband and Emiko all shared was something you'd been wishing for ever since your first heartbreak as a teen, something that had left you emotionally drained but had gained you a lifelong friend in the process. Sure, you were envious but you certainly weren’t bitter towards her - she had worked her ass off to get where she was now and had managed to stay a loyal friend throughout. There was no doubt in your mind that she was one of the first you’d tell about your whole predicament once the worst was over and even less of a doubt that she’d feel in any way different about you.

The hours went by quickly enough, with Emiko mostly running rings around you (you swore there must have been scorch marks burnt into the floor) when she wasn’t playing around with her toy make up set before she eventually tired herself out.

After the fifth yawn you had lifted her up onto your hip (careful of your bump) and secured an arm around her, carrying her to her room. You almost had to laugh at the novelty of it, her room was just as colourful as her personality. The walls were painted rainbow and the floor littered with all sorts of things, ranging from little toys like marbles to a rocking horse and a full sized dollhouse.

With the task of tucking her into bed complete, you quietly close her bedroom door just as the front door opens, the sound of laughter that filters in signifying that Emiko’s parents were back. Sakae greets you with lopsided smile, face aglow and hair messy - from the lipstick smeared on her husband's face, you can easily guess what they had been getting up to. Grabbing your hand, she leads you through to the sitting room and sits you down, leaving Daisuke to his own devices and making sure you’re fully comfortable before collapsing beside you onto the plush cushions.

She pulls off her heels and rubs her feet briefly, pulling a face at you before she settles down and turns to face you. “Oh great Y/N, provider of romantic getaways and lover of babysitting, pray tell… to what do I owe thee?” she asks, trying hard to keep her facial expression entirely serious; you can't help but laugh along with her when she inevitably fails. “You don't owe me anything, _Utsukushī yopparai_ , think of it as an incentive to spice up your marriage, from me to you” you reply, smiling coyly at her.

“My marriage is plenty spicy thanks” she objects, shooting you a comically exaggerated wink. “Seriously though, it was the most fun Daisuke and I have had together for a while.You’re the only person I know, possibly the only one in the world, who’d pass up a free dinner with a friend for babysitting said friend’s hyperactive child” she says, sobering up quickly.

“It was nothing. We both know I would have convinced you to let me pay the bill anyway, plus, with all these hormones running havoc on my body, even the slightest whiff of what I used to think was the tastiest food in the world sends me hurling” you reply, picking your words carefully.

“Although it's true that you usually end up paying the bill, I would have been super resilient this time! I wrote the book on _Treating Your Best Friend Named Y/N Whom You Haven't Seen In A While To A Free Meal,_ y’know”

“As for the vivid image about you blowing chunks? I remember those times - I swear I ate sardines and pickles religiously for weeks, drove Daisuke mad ‘cause I wouldn't let him kiss me”

“Trust me, I remember. I came over once and you were drinking pickle juice straight from the jar. I was equally impressed and disgusted” you reply, cracking up just at the thought of it.

“All this baby talk, where _is_ my little ray of sunshine?” Sakae asks, making little grabbing motions at you from across the couch - like mother like daughter you supposed. “Sound asleep” you reply, glancing at the clock on the wall - you yawn despite yourself. “Asleep? We must have switched like something straight out of Freaky Friday, I feel rearing and ready to go” she replies.

“Trust me, I don't think that’ll last for very long. In fact, I think I might call it a day myself, it's almost 11"

“I’ll get Daisuke to drop you off but first, I have to do _the thing_ ” she says vaguely, eyes widening to the size of saucers. She slides deftly off the couch and onto the carpet, crossing her legs underneath her as she settles in front of you. “What thing?” you ask, confused yet amused as you look down at her in all her drunken glory.

“The _thing_ ” she mumbles, motioning for you to edge closer towards her. You shuffle forwards complacently.

“You’re gonna be the most perfect little baby in the world okay? You certainly already have the mother to match up. I’m betting money that you’ll be a boy but I know they can be handfuls, so don't end up like Emiko, be nice and quiet for your mother and don't throw a fit in public when you asked for taiyaki but she had to get dorayaki because their weren't any stalls nearby. I went on a little bit of a tangent there but, in short, be the best you can be little man, and come out soon so your mum can bring you over to boast ‘kay? I’m counting on you and those inevitable chubby cheeks” she whispers to your bump, bringing an unwavering smile to your face.

“I think I just felt him kick!”

***

It's a mixture of hope and luck that you’re looking in the direction that you are when you spot him sitting alone at the bar, head hung low and coffee cup on the counter in front of him.

Daisuke, understandably, panics when you scream out of nowhere _“Stop the car!”_ and swerves the car to the left at the first available space and you have to hurriedly rush out a combination of “ _No, the baby isn’t coming_ ”  & “ _Don't worry about me_ ”s as you unbuckle your seatbelt. He warns you that it's not safe out at night for someone in your condition and he really should get you home but by the time he turns to look at your empty seat, you’ve already waddled halfway across the street.

He doesn’t look up as you push the door open, only mumbles that the café isn't open and goes back to sipping his coffee. The fact that you got a reaction out of him at all, albeit a small one, spurs you on all the more and you take a seat next to him at the counter, nudging him slightly.

After a few moments he turns to face you, kakugan visible and hands curled into fists on the counter - a scare tactic to reiterate his point, but you only smile back at him.

“Are you really going to threaten a heavily pregnant woman, Renji?” you ask, a hint of humor in your voice.

His lack of a smile in response doesn't deter you either, you’ve known him long enough to know that he's just as glad to see you.

Instead, you open your arms and he tentatively falls into them, wrapping his arms (almost long enough to circle you twice) around your torso and nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. He stays there for a moment, inhaling your scent before pulling away when he feels you wince.

“It’s nothing, just the baby kicking. Wanna feel?” you ask, looking down at your bump. He nods, lifting a hand to rest on it. “It could take a while, don't get too disappointed if nothing happens” you say gently, all too aware of how seemingly intimate this was. You had never hugged Yomo before, let alone had him touch your pregnant abdomen feeling for kicks.

You’re pulled out of your thoughts when Yomo lets out a noise of something akin to excitement as the baby kicks again and you can't help but giggle yourself, latching onto his joy. Out of all of the scenarios that had played out in your head when you’d seen him in the café, this hadn’t been one o--

The baby kicks again, harder this time and you give Yomo a smile.

“They must be really happy to meet you”

And then the pain starts.

It’s nowhere near major, just an uncomfortable throbbing sensation in your lower back but before long, your stomach tightens too; adding even more pressure. It stops almost as soon as it starts and you breathe a small sigh of relief.

“What was that?” Yomo asks, voice laced with concern. “Nothing, it happens sometimes. Braxton Hicks contractions, they pass after a while”.

Although he nods in understanding, his facial expression still remains concerned as he gets up, moving to stand behind the counter. He raises a brow at you and you shake your head, opting instead to watch in silence as he deftly prepares himself another cup of coffee.

You wonder absently how many cups of coffee he’d consumed this evening, alone with just his thoughts for company.

When he takes his seat again, he turns to face you and you, taking his silent cue, recount all that’s happened since you’d last seen him, choosing to leave out how things with Nishiki hadn’t improved. You’re halfway through telling him something that you know will make him laugh, or at least smile, when a sharp pain runs through your body, stemming from your stomach. You let out a cry of surprise, hands going out to clutch your bump on reflex.

This one lasts considerably longer than the last and before Yomo can even reach out to see if you're okay, another ripple of pain runs through you, even more intense than the last.

_Maybe this is the real thing._

The thought crosses your mind before you can stop it, adding worry to your stress. If this was real, then you’d be having your first born in a coffee shop. You _have_ to get an ambulance.

You manage to mumble something at least somewhat coherent to Yomo to which he nods. What he does next however completely surprises you. Picking you up deftly in his arms, he carries you bridal style up the stairs and into a room practically bare apart from the bed, setting you down gently.

You want to shout at him, scream that you don't want to have your baby here but before you can, another wave of pain rips through you and you’re screaming for an entirely different reason.

With all the pain and confusion, you hadn’t realised that Touka had entered the room until she grabs a hold of your hand and you grip back with equal vigour, glad of the distraction as your contraction subsides.

You’re not quite sure why she's here, after all, she had made it pretty clear that the whole ‘ _secretly seething, passive aggressive rule_ ’ still stood the last time you’d crossed paths. In fact, you have a sneaking suspicion that she’d come to deliver another one of her trademark snarky remarks (probably to tell you to keep the noise down) but it doesn't matter, she's here now and all of your arguments have been resolved - at least for a short period.

 _“_ What’s wrong?! _”_

She directs the question at Yomo _,_ guessing correctly that you’re in no fit condition to hold a conversation. He replies with a single word, “ _Doctor_ ”, voice calm despite his unusually nervous expression.  

“B-but Yoshimura is out and Hinami is at a sleepover - I can’t just _leave_ , Yomo” Touka falters, eyes filling with panicked tears. “Touka, Yomo is right, I need a doctor” you manage to say once the pain passes, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. Her eyes meet yours, expression determined as tears begin to spill over onto her pale cheeks; you can tell that she wants to argue otherwise. Finally, she turns away, letting go of your hand to wipe away the stray tears that dot her cheeks. “I’ll be back as soon as possible” she speaks up, voice wavering slightly before she leaves.

You try to recall all that you had read in those parenting books as you settle back down onto the soft mattress. Your contractions were getting progressively more painful and frequent, with less and less time between each of them which could only mean one thing - this most certainly was the real thing. You let that sink in with a sigh, thinking over the breathing exercises you had read extensively about to alleviate the pain.

You’d had no urges to push yet but, if you did, you’d have to hold them back until the paramedics arrived.

But they weren’t supposed to be coming this fast. Maybe something’s wrong?

You wait until the pain numbs back to just being uncomfortable, turning to face Yomo and sucking in shaky breath before you speak up. “I-I think we need some towels and, uh, a hot water bottle. That would be nice” you say, giving him what you hope resembles a smile.

Yomo nods, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before he leaves too, his descending footsteps falling into an odd rhythm with your shallow breaths and consequently lulling you into an almost trance-like ‘sleep’ that’s more exhaustion fuelled if anything.

However, it's not too long before you open your eyes again, roused by the sound of footsteps on the staircase. _Sets of steps_.

Soon enough, Yomo, Touka, a woman you’ve never seen before and the ghoul doctor filter into the room, coming to a standstill in various corners of the shoebox room. You run a hand through your hair despite yourself in an attempt to look somewhat presentable, restless fingers interchanging between flattening the creases in your dress and pinching at available skin; subconsciously still unsure if this is real or not.

The sound of laughter however gets you to stop, forcing your eyes upwards at short burst of melodic giggling. Your eyes fall on the woman dressed professionally at the foot of the bed in a crisp, collared, gown (almost resembling hospital scrubs) with a stethoscope around her neck, a lapel watch pinned to her breast pocket and nurses cap atop her head, red hair pinned back and tied in an elegant braid beneath. The half-smile she sports is bemused, glasses glinting in the lamp light as she pushes them up her face.

“There’s no need to be self-conscious, you’re going to give birth, not host Emperor Akihito” she says, voice equally as harmonious as her laugh.

Silence falls in the room and you blink several times at her observation before cracking a smile of your own that quickly turns into a short-lived, yet genuine, burst of laughter.

“This is Akane Himura, an expert midwife straight from the Mothers & Babies ward at the hospital. She’s practically delivered babies in droves and is certainly more experienced at it than I, or anyone else in this room, would be” Dr. Sasaki speaks up, walking to stand besides her.

“As comfy as this futon is, I’m not so sure that I want to have my first child in the spare room of a coffee shop” you reply, voice almost parched sounding.

Akane and Dr. Sasaki share a quick, almost unnoticeable, glance that speaks volumes to you. However, before you can question them, the - unfortunately - familiar feeling of another contraction runs through you and the glance is, at least momentarily, forgotten. Mild at best, it’s still enough to make you cry out and clutch your abdomen loosely in shock, the words not forming on your tongue.

Akane waits until the pain dies down before she circles the bed to sit on its edge, taking one of your hands in hers. “I’m going to need to check your cervix, if that’s okay with you. Just to see how dilated you are. Would you like some privacy?” she asks, voice lilting and calm. You nod your head, glad at least that you had chosen a dress today.

Without a word, the other three occupants of the room exit, leaving just you and the midwife inside. She pulls a pack of sterile gloves from her bag, slipping one on and dripping some sort of gel over the fingers of the glove. “I need you to lift and separate your knees for me” she instructs, voice professional; you follow accordingly, hesitating only slightly. “You’ll feel my hand on your inner thigh now, just relax” even though you’re expecting it, the cold yet brief sensation of the gel on your skin still makes you tense up.

“ _Relax_ ”

It’s over soon enough and Akane retracts her hand, depositing the used glove into what looks like a disposable bedpan that she sets on the nightstand. “I can feel the baby’s head, assuming that you’ve been at least 2cm dilated for the past week or so, your dilation is progressing very quickly now. The baby won't be here for another hour, minimum, and your water still hasn't broken yet. Normally, I’d be prepping you for delivery by now but I think waiting this out is a good call.”

“What happens if my water doesn't break in an hour’s time?” you ask.

“Then I’ll break it myself, it's common practice and won’t affect the birth. Right now, I need you to do something for me, okay?” you nod in agreement and she looks around the room. “Don’t worry, it's not a huge request. I just need you to keep active, walking around the room for example. It'll reduce the pain later and speed up your labour too”

“If you get tired, I want you to lean on that dresser over there to rest, okay?”

“Just as long as I don't have to do any star jumps or jumping jacks” you joke, electing a smile from Akane too.

Helping you lift yourself up from the bed, Akane lets you lean on her for a few steps until you step into your own rhythm, watching carefully and keeping you entertained whilst you walk around the room.

*

When you next check the clock on the wall above the bed, somehow several hours have passed; you’re almost tempted to rub your eyes to be sure but when you blink and check again, the time stays the same. “I think it's time for you to have a break” Akane says, noticing your fixation on the clock. “I think it's time I had a break too” you agree, walking towards the dresser to lean against it.

“I’ll get you something to eat and drink, you’ve been doing so well” Akane says, exiting the room briefly only to reappear with a covered plate and two water bottles which you gladly accept, chugging the first bottle in one gulp and reaching for the other when you feel a warm trickle running down the insides of your legs.

You had removed your underwear before Akane had checked your cervix and hadn't put them back on since, simply for the sake of practicality, so you watch, transfixed, as the liquid runs freely down your leg.

“Okay, Y/N, this may seem unorthodox but this baby is coming _now_ , and I need you to be upright when you have it, okay? Gravity will help deliver the baby and you’ll be in less pain” Akane says, separating your legs as she kneels beneath you.

You nod faintly, hyper-aware of the hair and sweat sticking to your damp face as you wait for her signal to start, heart almost beating out of your chest at the prospect of actually creating _life_.

“ _Push_ ”

You follow her command, letting out an almighty scream as you do so. ‘ _If this method is supposed to reduce pain, I feel sorry for those who have to give birth lying down_ ’ you think to yourself through the haze of pain, the tears that stream down your face mixing with sweat.

A hand takes your own as you continue to push and you open your eyes to see Touka beside you, eyes red and cheeks flushed as she says something to Akane. Her words are too fast and speech to garbled for you to understand so you instead glance around the room, finally spotting Dr. Sasaki and Yomo beside the door. Pushing down any disappointment you may you feel down, you grip Touka’s hand back with equal vigour, wincing when you hear several loud cracks; she doesn't pull back.

Your chest is heaving, lungs gasping for air and body aching for a break but you go for one more push, the adrenaline running through your body fuelling you entirely. Suddenly, you feel a huge weight lift from your body and you look down between your legs to watch as Akane gently cradles the head and neck of your baby, teasing her out gently until she holds her gently in her arms. _Her_ , a girl.

Akane quickly ties off the umbilical cord, cutting painlessly through it before she stands, wraps her in a towel provided by Yomo and hands you your newborn. “Skin to skin contact is imperative at this point” she says, helping you bundle her up underneath the top of your dress and against your bare chest and collarbone. Time slows to an almost painful droll as you watch her, breath hitched in your throat as you watch for signs of life in her impossibly tiny body. Finally, a cry breaks through the silence and her face scrunches up, eyes opening and blinking several times until she finally settles, watching you watch her; One eye red and black, the other the colour of yours.

The room is silent as everyone watches her, transfixed by her beauty as a tiny fist lifts to touch her face before she nuzzles into your chest, almost as if she wants to burrow inside you. You know what that means and you look up at Dr. Sasaki, a question on your lips. “I’m as new to this as you are but I encourage you to try; at least until we can find a better solution, if any. It would certainly be a problem if she’s unable to retain nutrients from breastfeeding” he replies before you can ask. You nod in reply, a faint smile on your lips as you move towards the bed, supported by Yomo and Touka on either side, and guide her to your teat. She latches on easily and you let out a sigh of relief you hadn’t known you were holding as she feeds, still watching her with fascination.

“Can I hold her?” Yomo asks, voice barely above a whisper when she pulls away from your breast. You nod certainly, fatigue taking over your ability to speak as you hand her over in her makeshift swaddling. You watch them together for a few minutes, smiling as she clasps strands of Yomo’s hair in her fists and as Touka makes faces at her over his shoulder, settling into the bed for a few moments rest.

*

“ _Y/N?_ ”

A distant voice calls you through the haze of sleep, it’s urgency distorted and enveloped by the impenetrable dark that surrounds you.

“ _She's lost too much blood and her placenta hasn't even been delivered yet. You’ll have to call the emergency services and get her to the closest human hospital_ ”

The words sound like the sweetest of lullabies to your ears as you sink deeper into the darkness.

“ _Yours is much closer, why can't we take her there?!_ ”

“ _I just can't risk it. With all this blood, she might as well be a walking target. Your resolve is impressive but I doubt my ghoul patients would be able to restrain themselves; this is as much for her safety as theirs_ ”

  
It would be so easy to just… _slip away_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Utsukushī yopparai = Beautiful drunkard
> 
> It's 2am rn and I have to be up in 2 hours so please excuse any grammar/spelling/formatting errors, if you spot any, please say so in the comments below and I'll fix them A$AP (Rocky). Also, there's the option for the next chapter to be only *mildly* dramatic or super dramatic & I can't decide so, as an x reader, it would make sense if you guys got to choose so, please comment on that if you can.
> 
> Sorry for the late update guys.  
> P.S. Nishiki will definitely be in the next chapter

**Author's Note:**

> Please excuse me for the lack of honorific's (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
> 
> There's not enough Nishiki fanfics out here, I hope this is good enough quality for all you Nishiki lovers!


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